LOVE IN MARRIAGE

“Mummy, you cannot say this to me”, I just overheard this while my fore finger was about to press the door bell of my in-laws home in Delhi in 1987, about a year after my marriage. Curiosity forced me to wait for a little longer to over hear a little more Later, my better half told me about her habit of complaining about me to her mother to ease out her pressure but that she will never tolerate anybody else saying a word against me. This was intriguing and this was the first time a touch of my wife’s possessive love pinched me. This sounded as pure as platinum. Marriage is said to be a novel in which the hero dies in the first chapter .But this hero is going strong.

In 1996, we visited my parents at Hyderabad .We three brothers were aware that our father was an occasional smoker. He was under medication for a heart ailment also. None of the brothers had the courage to ask father to kick smoking. The new daughter-in-law, my wife who was on her maiden visit to her in-laws, was aware of the heart ailment of her “sasurjee” When she took his shirt for washing; she discovered cigarettes in his shirt pocket. She not only threw the cigarettes off but also told my father without mincing words that he is more dearer to all of us than what cigarettes are to him. I was dumbstruck, stunned and speechless. I was unsure whether to feel proud at her boldness and genuine love for the family or be embarrassed at her brashness.

Love is not having someone with whom you can live but without whom you can not live. It is like platinum, again very rare to get real life partners. This second incident strengthened my acknowledging her love for me and the family.

During 1996, my wife discovered stones in her gall bladder; she occasionally suffered from unbearable pain in her abdomen. She used to wriggle with pain like a fish out of water. During our visit to Bangalore, where my in-laws resided, we decided to get her gall bladder removed. The family doctor took care of it and a simple operation was performed in her Nursing Home. .Unfortunately, my wife developed post-operation complications and developed ARDS- Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome... The doctors also scared us stating that her chances of survival are slim .She was shifted to ICU in the Manipal hospital and was there for about 10 days .She was unable to speak and just spent her time day in and night out staring at the ceiling .She was not spared of bed sores also. Poor little thing!!. One day she tried to communicate with me scribbling some words illegibly on a piece of paper. She wrote that she wanted to live only for my sake and for my little son .My eyes were wet with tears. I was emotionally drained. As if this was not enough, to my utter astonishment, she managed to pull out an old envelope from her bag. She showed the love letter which I gave her during our “wooing days”. The letter said

ONLY I SAID THAT I LOVED YOU

I ONLY SAID THAT I LOVED YOU

I SAID ONLY THAT I LOVED YOU

I SAID THAT  ONLY I LOVED YOU

I SAID THAT I  ONLY LOVED YOU

I SAID THAT I LOVED ONLY YOU

I SAID THAT I LOVED YOU ONLY

I was blown away, clean bowled, stumped and dumbstruck. With flood of emotions and only then knew what ecstasy means. This was the time I felt the ultimate feeling that is everlasting. I knew I discovered my real love that began and never ends. I just realized like the platinum, this feeling of being precious and eternal. It was no fake and will not tarnish with time.  It stays always true.

            Wisdom dawned that marriage is a relationship in which independence is equal, dependence mutual and obligation reciprocal. It is not only having the right partner, it is but being the right partner as well.

                                                                XXX