This Too Shall Pass…

Tears rushed from my eyes in disbelief. In a grave and uncomfortable tone, the doctor declared, “She is brought dead”. My dreams of getting her cured crashed and everything froze. I grasped her hand tight and we both exchanged the most inexplicable tears. After all sorts of verifications and confirmations, I was asked to take the “body “of my mother.

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Today, sitting on the edge of her bed, I stared out at the unknown; every object reminded me of her. only one question kept lingering into my head: “What does LIFELONG mean”? I was wondering on what I could have done better. Maybe I should have brought her to hospital very fast, may be that food affected her or may be these medicines should not be given, and a billion other thoughts kept building. For quite a sometime, I didn't know if I was even breathing I didn't even blink. Just one day before she left us physically, I still vividly remember how doctors told me that post surgery, she will be normal like any of us for “LIFELONG”.

Emotionally any form of separation is a like a surgery being performed without anaesthesia & the only way to cope up is by realising even when a person leaves you in the physical realm he/she continues to remain yours in the mental realm.  In the physical realm relationships are “sometimes”/ “sometimes”. However, In the mental and emotional realm the relationships are “Always-Forever”. Now sitting alone in my house with photograph of my mother hanging in front of me, I couldn’t stop myself, but wonder:  Does this word “LIFELONG” hold any significance?

Just as I was about to deepen myself into these thoughts, the doorbell rang, and I was surprised to see my school friend standing out there. I was glad my friend came home after long time and we both decided to go for a walk. In a pensive mood, I said to my friend that “When we were in school, we were being told that once we pass out higher-secondary with flying colours, “LIFELONG” we can happy. Later in College, once you clear this entrance, the rest is assured for “LIFELONG” and so on and so forth…Now that we have crossed all these stages, are you happy?” He took pause, long pause. And I have got my answer. That day, during the night just before sleeping, I thought about how much my father used to admire and adore the poem titled “bachpan by Subhadra Kumari Chauhan”. He used to enjoy so much interpreting this poem for me. The poem describes about how much one misses his childhood and pleads that it comes back to one’s life again.

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That time, I never understood the depth of this poem nor why my father used to love this so very much. It is only now after losing him and me becoming father, I started realizing the delight of childhood. May be, he wanted to make me understand that life is not “LIFELONG” (or) forever to re-live every moment. So, experience & live life moment by moment. And never to worry about the hardships as everything will pass with time, as someone very truly said “This Too Shall Pass.”

There is one favourite proverb of mine which inspires as well as haunts me. It goes like this “Spring is past, summer has gone, and winter is here and the song that I have meant to sing remains unsung for I have spent my days stringing and unstringing the instrument.” As I grew older I have realized that this could only be written by someone whose heart was filed with regret over a life half lived. Sometimes the words spoken by others might end up overloading the next person for the rest of their life. So, is the word “LIFELONG” for me. 

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With all these impressions in my life, I started to live by this mental philosophy “live & cherish each moment as if it were your last”. Make your presence felt and be of use to the people around you because you never know which is your “moment”

With Silence Beyond Words,

Adi