My Dearest Barfi,
Its July 20th, 2016, 5:42 AM and this day is very very special to us as I write this message to you. A candle flickers. Susheela garu’s beautiful song Laali-laali plays softly in my head-phones but this time….perhaps this ONLY time making me astir and awakened. The people I love most are sleeping. This morning's coffee prepared by your mom is as amazing as she is. “Ramdas”, your pet Bird is staring at me, “Candy”, your pet dog is looking at me with a boiled egg face. Flowers bloom in our back garden. Lush green trees rise up high, in natural tribute to the awakening skies above. And my heart and mind is ruminating over the past one year and this day. i am sitting at the balcony at your grandpa’s place, simply savoring the sweetness in this most simple scene….i call this the “Perfect Moment”.
Barfi, I‘ll never forget the first day we brought you home from the hospital. You were so teeny tiny little kitty remember? I was afraid to even hold you and to get you out of the car seat… I was panicking about walking you up the stairs to your room… your mom was so terrified to be left unsupervised and i was even so much afraid to carry you for 1 full minute. After your arrival, I sure had no idea what I was doing or what being a dad truly meant. My! How quickly things have changed.With each new day it was like passing milestone, I would say, “OH! You are carbon copy of mom, and the very next moment you started looking like me This” Then I would find myself saying the exact same thing the next day. And the next. And the week after that. I quickly learned that each day is better than the day before when you’re around. You learned to laugh, and I learned that your giggle is my new favorite sound in life…Trust me barfi, your every giggle filled LIFE into me. You learned to say “baba” + “ammmmmaaa”. Then you learned to say “tata” + “bammaa”+”atthhaaa” and finally “nhaaannaa” and then I learned you are one smart cookie :) and i was loving your every phase of your development. But there is one thing which remained same in you since your day 0 on this mother earth..do you want to now what it is? Ok, let me tell you that, you never required any lullaby song for you to sleep…..and you used to and still sing your own lullaby song when you are sleepy….this is one of the many cutest things in you
You learned to roll over, to crawl, to sit up, to take your first steps, and I suddenly learned that you wouldn’t stay a baby forever…one day your mom suddenly became muffled that you are no more infant and became toddler and that day i reallized how quickly you are evolving:), You learned to push doors + open drawers, and I learned that nothing could ever get in your way. You’re surely on a mission.You learned to push your little scooter gifted by your ammamma everywhere, go places by yourself, and I learned to stop chasing you, learned to let you go. …..but let me tell you, i just couldn’t see you so independent, yet always find a way back into my arms.……That’s alright! No matter how many candles you blow, for me in my heart my baby you will always be.Each day I watch you learn + explore the world around you + I find myself getting excited about the simple joys in life again.The love you have for the wind……The way you gaze at lights…How you light up when you see a candy…Your need to knock every door …and of course Your obsession with my mac pro laptop and iPhones…Your intrigue at whatever mom’s eating….Enjoying the little things with you was been the bestest.. I’ve learned to see the world through your eyes & suddenly, everything is even more amazing.
You learned to roll over, to crawl, to sit up, to take your first steps, and I suddenly learned that you wouldn’t stay a baby forever…one day your mom suddenly became muffled that you are no more infant and became toddler and that day i reallized how quickly you are evolving:), You learned to push doors + open drawers, and I learned that nothing could ever get in your way. You’re surely on a mission.You learned to push your little scooter gifted by your ammamma everywhere, go places by yourself, and I learned to stop chasing you, learned to let you go. …..but let me tell you, i just couldn’t see you so independent, yet always find a way back into my arms.……That’s alright! No matter how many candles you blow, for me in my heart my baby you will always be.Each day I watch you learn + explore the world around you + I find myself getting excited about the simple joys in life again.The love you have for the wind……The way you gaze at lights…How you light up when you see a candy…Your need to knock every door …and of course Your obsession with my mac pro laptop and iPhones…Your intrigue at whatever mom’s eating….Enjoying the little things with you was been the bestest.. I’ve learned to see the world through your eyes & suddenly, everything is even more amazing.
You love to kidnap our phones & pretend to talk on it. Alooooo!!! You love your ammamma and tata, your best friends and the greatest baby sitter of all time. It’s the only time you ignore us. i am sure your mom gladly use this moment to sit by the sidelines + catch her breath + play her games in iPad.Oh! And you LOVE music. You dance + hum anytime you hear it. For the record, you’ve never been a great sleeper. You have too much to look at…Yeah. Bedtime has been difficult. I just try to remember how hard it must be to be for you, being so new in this world, thought most of the time I wish you would just fall asleep already for 8 hours straight.
Then it dawns on me that one day you won’t want me playing hours together and entertaining you. And that day, I’ll long for the nights I used to rub your little back to help you fall asleep. But mostly, I will miss & have I told you how stunningly beautiful you are? Your Minnie Mouse lashes + gorgeous dark black hair have, literally, stopped strangers in their tracks. (What a beautiful baby!)But even more mesmerizing than your looks, is the beauty of your personality. It amazes everyone that meets you. Wherever we are, you wave + throw kisses + give high fives + clap your hands, as if you were part of the welcoming committee. Everyone wants to be around you. It’s a pull. You’ve got it.
I am so grateful that you chose me to be your dad Aditri. You know I asked for you too, right? Amma + I both did. We wished for you… dreamed about you… waited our whole lives for you. You are our bucket list. I want you to know that. You’re like a lil’ performance enhancing happy hippo pill.
I hope when you’re able to read this letter, years down the road, you will smile, and know that the day you were born was the happiest day of my life. And my first year as a dad my greatest adventure!
Happy 1st b-day sweetheart! I send you my best.
Bye Barfi,
Your dad & I love you very VERY much.
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