A Photograph that I hold close to my heart

While I was having conversation with a stranger in a metro station, all of a sudden, he started staring at my ring and after some time, said “That's a nice ring, it seems expensive”. I just smiled and said, “It was my Dad’s ...I don't know about that being expensive or not, but to me its valuable though, I've worn it every single day since he left us physically last year”. Then he immediately said, “I am sorry to hear about this, please take care of yourself and your mother”. Before he could complete his statement, I said “This year I have lost my residual strength in the form of my mother.” Well, although this conversation had an abrupt ending as I had to get down at my station, I felt within myself that many a times “being true” to the moment is never easy.  Some stories remain in your heart for life and some moments remain as if the entire life is captured in that moment. I too have such a moment which I always held closest to my heart.

No words can ever do justice to this special moment of my life. I firmly believe that if you have cried out of any deep positive emotions which are unable to comprehend and express using language, you can clearly relate to what you are about to read.

--> My Mother always used to tell me that one would never know what true love is until they have children of their own.  Sadly, I didn't realize that she was talking about me until quite a sometime.  She was right. I was in the room where they bathe and check babies just after birth. ...  And yes, I was just waiting to see when the door flashes “open” and the doctor comes out with our cute little miracle. YES..I was waiting outside the labor ward waiting to see my baby for the first time ever…as always; there are no words to describe the feeling. I was outside myself and truly humbled…..just in the midst of mixed feelings a nurse came out of the ward and  was requesting me for couple of signatures and documentation work which I was supposed to do as a prerequisite…..While I was doing this, my mind was wandering over the events happened in the  past few months where in Gayatri (my wife) was experiencing the most vivid and exciting period, any women goes through her life….yes, the period where one experiences the little bumps and jumps of the infant inside her womb.  Even though my little one is still to see the world outside at that point of time, I was pretty sure that that my baby is already experiencing the world through Gayatri…through her eyes, emotions and thoughts. Gayatri used to say that, her every move, her every little excitement, her every mood swing brings in some reactions from within too. Especially, whenever any form of music was played, the aerobic feat inside used to begin, so it is then I decided that music is for sure shot “A Turn On” for my baby just like my beautiful wife.
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I was just ruminating over past months where in everything she feel, eat, sense or smell is received by the baby & those little ‘dishums’  Gayatri used to experience. For the next two hours, I watched Gayatri and the nurse go through the ritual of labor. As a contraction built up, the nurse counted off the pushing: “And a one two three four five six seven eight nine and a ten!” Gayatri turned to me, smiling. “It feels like I’m playing a sport!” she said.

And it went on for a while and went out waiting for the little ones arrival when suddenly the attendant came out and told me that it is BABY GIRL and she was proud of her prediction…I was so super thrilled at this moment that I hugged my brother-in-law tightly and was eagerly waiting to cuddle my daughter for the very first time.

They wrapped her in blankets and handed her to me. Feeling her weight in one arm, and gripping Gayatri’s hand with the other, the possibilities of life emanated before us. All I could remember is one of the famous lines in the history: “Alice: How long is forever? White Rabbit: Sometimes, just one second.” YES, I just felt this second of my life is forever.
I was just staring at her only to realize that my baby has finally arrived and I just can’t wait to see her little cute nose , the innocent toothless smile, and the twinkling little eyes.  The moment has come when she invaded our life with happiness! Here was a baby that would shape my life more than I could possibly hope to shape the baby’s.  Life is beautiful and holding her was the best of what we call life. I couldn't believe she was finally there and that she was "my daughter". The fact that I was now her Dad, was just too big to grasp at that moment, but I did feel this overwhelming feeling of responsibility for this tiny little girl. Although, I lost my parents in a short span of time, my daughters arrival brought meaning into my life.

In short, I had never before felt so grown up and at this very time, someone happen to click this photograph of me holding my daughter for the first time ever and this is the closest photograph to my heart and it never forgets to melt my heart.
Cheers,

--> Aditya Telidevara